How do you deal with a loss? Especially someone who you love and admire. Chief Ricky Smith passed away yesterday. One of the men who has helped Scottie and I in our hardest times. How do you say goodbye to someone like that? I didn't think I would have much of a hard time with his passing since he's been sick for a while, but it's effecting me more and more. I drove past the fire house last night on my way home from work, and passed Ambulance 37 drapped with black fabric and just cried. Ambulance 37 was dedicated to Ricky last year. It will be out of service until the funeral i'm guessing.

I love you Underdog. Thank you for everything you have done for not only Scott and I, but for everyone in this community. You have touched so many lives and saved so many people. Rest sweet Ricky. Know that you're family is taken care of. We will always be there for Bettie and the kids. I'm going to miss you so much. <3

God Gave Me You

I’ve been a walking heartache
I’ve made a mess of me
The person that I’ve been lately
Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me
Watch as the storm goes through
And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

There’s more here than what were seeing
A divine conspiracy
That you, an angel lovely
Could somehow fall for me
You’ll always be love’s great martyr
Ill be the flattered fool
and I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you

On my own I’m only
Half of what I could be
I can’t do without you
We are stitched together
And what love has tethered
I pray we never undo

God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
For when I think I’ve lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it’s true
God gave me you, gave me you.
Gave me you

I know this is a love some between husband and wife, but everytime I hear this song I think of Ryleigh. This little girl just knows how to make everything better. On days like today, all I have to do is look at her beautiful little smile and I just can't wait to be home with her. I have never felt so much love towards anyone. I don't even think I can explain it. It's like when I look at her pictures at work I just ache to be home with her. I mean, physically ache.
I truley believe God tested me for so long just to reward me with the most amazing daughter I could have ever asked for. Even still, I could have the worst day I could have ever had and I just have to think about getting home and seeing her sweet smile. Ugh I just love it. <3

Tough day

Today is the day of anniversaries. 6 years ago today, my grandmother unexpectedly passed away. One year ago today my uncle (her son) passed away from complications of a heart transplant/kidney failure. Today is one of those days that you wish would just fall off the calendar. I don't even know what else to write about all of this. It's pretty much all just a jumble. I always pray that April 6th goes by faster than all the other days.


Georgie Porgie puddin' and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
Georgie Porgie ran away


:) My grandmother always said that. She had a cat named George (female cat I might add) so whenever she was talking to him, she would recite that rhyme. God I miss her. <3






My uncle's Goldwing. Well, not technacilly his, but same bike. When he passed, a few days later, we had a MAJOR storm system come through. We would joke that when we heard thunder, Uncle Ed was revving up his bike.
I love you. <3

Dorthy Joan Holland- 4/6/2005
Charles Edwin Holland- 4/6/2010
I miss you both more than anyone could imagine. <3

Casting Crowns - Praise you in this storm